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Milestones: Victorian Porn

Here is another milestone in my castration fetish.

My 14-15 years were a busy time but luckily I was able to discover some erotica.

Although I rarely revisit them, even after 50 years these excerpts still have the power to arouse.

My Secret Life

This happened when I was 14.

I must have read about it in an ad in “Playboy”. A new magazine of erotica was announced called “Avant Garde” and it was being published by the same guy that had published the famous “Eros” magazine, although I was too young to remember “Eros”.

The thing that really grabbed me about this ad was the offer of a book to be given away to charter subscribers. The book was a complete edition of the famous Victorian sex memoir, “My Secret Life”. I was eager for real-life descriptions of sex and I’ve always been a sucker for ‘complete’ or ‘original’.

It was a big disappointment when it finally came. The book was huge and unwieldy and difficult to read. The binding was cheap glue that immediately cracked when I opened it causing pages to fall out. And the content was dull, repetitive and often disgusting. I gave up on reading it fairly quickly.

Oh, and “Avant Garde” sucked too.

I finally read a much shorter, edited version of “My Secret Life” a few years ago and it was very good. Not that erotic but certainly entertaining and enlightening.

The Pearl

I discovered “The Pearl” when I was 15. It’s 650 pages of classic Victorian porn.

Roughly 75% is devoted to straight sex, the rest is devoted to women ‘birching’ each other. Once again, I felt confused that none of the straight sex really aroused me. And I had no interest in the woman-on-woman stuff.

Only two passages aroused me. Here is a summary of the first one followed by a link:

A girl discovers her brother taking advantage of one of her girlfriends and punishes him by birching him in front of a small group of her girlfriends. The birching causes the boy to have an embarrassing ejaculation.

Here’s the link: Lady Pokingham Vol. II

I loved the incest, all the girls watching and the humiliation of the involuntary ejaculation.

Here is the other passage. It’s very brief. It just describes a young man giving his friend a spur-of-the-moment blow job.

Here’s the link: Sub-Umbra

I loved how free and easy it was and the submissive aspect.

Autobiography of a Flea

The following embarrassing incident happened when I was 15.

I discovered this famous book late one hot summer night in my older brother’s bedroom. He and his wife were both absent at the time.

While browsing through I stumbled upon one passage that literally blew my mind. I stripped off my clothes and ran around the neighborhood naked until the police spotted me and picked me up.

Here’s a summary and link:

The story is set in the 18th century. A girl walks along a rural country path and stops to watch two horses having sex in a field. She notices a peasant boy is already there watching the horses and openly masturbating. She boldly goes over to him and takes over jerking him off till he cums.

Here’s the link: Autobiography of a Flea

I loved the passivity of the boy, the devilish aggressiveness and delight of the girl and the open, brazen spectacle of the copious ejaculation.

Little Richard

I started to get into music when I was 15. My older brother gave me his beat-up old portable stereo and his beat-up old 1950s records. I found Little Richard to be electrifying. I’d lay in bed and my whole body would be rigid and tingling with rapture. This showed a strong feminine side in me.

Library Stains

During the second half of my 15th year I adopted a strict new daily regimen. This included concentrating on my homework by studying in the basement stacks of a local college library every day. Perversely, I also got into the habit of leaving long semen stains on the white walls down at the end of each row of the stacks. I must have left about two dozen. They turned kind of yellowish brown after a while.

Furtively masturbating in semi-secluded public places during quiet, off-hours became a silly little hobby of mine during my teen years. It was only an occasional thing.

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Milestones: Family Matters

Here’s another milestone in the development of my castration fetish.

My 14-15 years were intense. Puberty was right behind me and my first teen years found me clueless and out of it. And this milestone is actually kind of painful.

And I suppose I should mention here that I’ve never been what one would call a chronic or compulsive masturbator.

Nude Photos

My crazy older sister came home from college and bragged to me about having nude photos in her luggage that were taken by her photographer boyfriend. When she went to bed I rummaged through her luggage, got them out and used them for onanistic purposes. There was one color one taken in the woods that really showed off her ‘charms’.

The next day she confronted me about her luggage being disarranged. I denied doing anything. I’ve always suspected she wanted me to look at them.

Trimphant Castratrix

I made a sort of confession to my crazy older sister one day while she was doing some simple task in the kitchen of our family home. I told her I had had a dream/fantasy of her castrating me and then holding my severed scrotum up in the air in a gesture of triumph. She laughed it off and to humor me she even pantomimed the gesture.

I think it’s pretty clear that in this instance it was I that was the crazy one.

Wisdom Teeth

My mother took me to have my wisdom teeth surgically removed. She made no effort to prepare me for it. Everything about it was unexpected and disturbing. And my mom was so silent, cold and stern both on the way over and back.

I experienced feelings of betrayal, abandonment and guilt. It felt like a sort of punitive correction. It also resonated with feelings from back during my time in traction when I was two years old. Oh, and it was a male oral surgeon by the way.

Hall Mirror Stain

My mother had a set of three almost full-length mirrors installed in a closed-off hallway at the back of our house. The middle mirror was flat against the wall and the side mirrors were on hinges that swung out so that you could stand inside them and see all around yourself.

One day my mother asked me to come and look at the mirrors. On the middle one there was a long white dried semen stain. She said she knew it had to be either myself or my older brother. She must have been able to tell from my stricken expression that it was me. She told me to clean it up and bitched about how she already had enough to clean up every day around the house.

I think she later come to regret having been so tactless.


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Lamivex – castratrix of thalia

Here is his DeviantArt page. And here is his Blogger blog.

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Rio cartoon showing gelded pony boy

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“The Pony Play Club”, femdom castration fantasy

George and Emily are newlyweds, married less than a year.

When Emily discovers pony play files on their laptop she just smiles. She has dated enough before meeting George to know that all men have funny kinks. And besides, she has secrets too.

Emily reveals her discovery to George in a gentle and loving way. He blushes and hangs his head in shame. He is surprised when Emily tells him she would like to learn more about his special interest. And in this way she gradually worms her way into becoming an essential part of his fetish.

In only a short while they have both fully embraced the fetish and immerse themselves in it on weekends.

They find a quiet meadow in a secluded part of a nearby woods to engage in some of this play. Emily trots George around the meadow while stinging his bottom with her whip. George has big balls and is hung like horse.

The pony play sessions always end with a milking, performed either by Emily or by George milking himself while she leers and grins devilishly.

George and Emily live in a rural area which is home to a small agricultural college. Part of the college is a small veterinary school. Emily suggests that George might like to learn more about the veterinary school since it routinely handles large animals like ponies.

Emily arranges for them to be given a special private tour of the veterinary school. Their guide is the head professor of the school, a very confident and attractive women in her early 40s. The tour ends in the gelding center.

The professor shows them one of the gelding stalls and explains the purposes of the restraining straps and other equipment. George becomes flustered and aroused. The professor looks at Emily with a quizzical and enquiring smile. Emily shyly explains that George is into pony play. The professor smiles and says she understands fully and that she has had some experience with pony play people. They ask her to tell them more.

Turns out there is a small pony play club in a nearby town. The president of the club contacted the professor and invited her to give a talk about her work at a club meeting.

All the club members were dressed in their usual pony play gear for the talk with the exception that their genitals were covered with a modesty crotch covering.

When the professor got around to discussing the important topic of gelding she noticed that many in the audience had become aroused and were sneakily stimulating themselves.

She smiled. It amused her to see that. She was familiar with the response. She had seen it before in males.

A week after the talk she got a message from the president of the club that was very pushy and almost demanded to be given a private appointment with her. He said he urgently needed more practical info about gelding.

She told him to meet her at the gelding center on a Sunday when no one else would be around. On the given day she found him waiting impatiently outside when she got there. Once inside she told him to put on his pony play gear but to omit the modesty crotch covering.

She snorted in amused surprise as he appeared before her with his low hanging sac with it’s two big balls and his big human-pony pizzle already swollen to half hardness.

She led him to one of the gelding stalls and fastened the straps that held him tightly in place. His pizzle had become fully erect and pointed at the ceiling.

She asked him if he knew what she was going to do to him. He just whimpered. She didn’t bother milking him. She just started right in and soon it was all over.

A couple weeks after that she began getting similar requests from some of the other club members. She was only too happy to oblige.

This story caused George to get even more flustered and aroused. Looking from one to the other the professor asks Emily what she would like to do. Emily’s eyes twinkle and she smiles brightly as she asks to be given one of those Sunday appointments for her George. When George hears this he shudders and cums in his pants making a big wet stain in them. The women see it and laugh while George cringes and blushes with embarrassment.

When the special day arrives George is soon strapped in tight in the gelding stall. Emily asks permission to milk George one last time and the professor grants it with a good-natured smile. When his ejaculation comes it is volcanic and copious.

The professor explains to Emily that she always likes to take off her top when she is doing a gelding. Emily nods approval and the professor takes off her blouse and bra letting her fine, firm breasts swing free. She is obviously excited and her big nipples stick out stiffly.

George’s balls are quite big, like nectarines. While the professor is gelding him she talks to Emily about how delicious cooked testicles can be. Emily is shocked at first but soon titters with delight at the idea. The professor says they are extra delicious because you know you are eating a male’s precious manhood that he has lost forever. When the professor invites Emily over to dinner in order to experience it she readily agrees. The professor pops George’s severed balls into a doggy bag just as they go to leave.

George is still on pain killers when Emily returns from her dinner with the professor. Emily wears a broad, happy smile. George asks her how it went. She just smiles at him and winks.

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