I can trace my obsession with castration to when I was a teenager. In reality, I would not really like to lose my balls; just fantasize about it. This story is fiction laced with reality and the two intertwine and overlap!
In high school I fell in “lust” with a gorgeous Mulatto girl who happened to be engaged to a college student a few years older than me. I was about 17 at the time. When he realized that I was attracted to his fiancé, he teasingly asked me, “Would you like to be castrated?”
Not knowing what that was, I went home and looked it up. At first I was horrified. Over time, however, I began to harbor fantasies of being castrated by these two. They would lure me into their van, have me bend over a bench, drop my pants and underwear, band my balls and ask me if I had any final wishes before I lost them. I would ask them to allow me to cum one last time before they nutted me and they would consent, but with the stipulation being that I had to jerk off myself in front of them and then when I was ready to cum, I had to say “okay,” so that I was agreeing to my emasculation and that they they could claim that I had asked for it. While I feverishly jerked off, they would hold a large hunting knife to my banded ball bag which, in the fantasy, always heightened my pleasures. And when I was finished squirting my last drop of sperm, I’d say “Okay.” In the fantasy, though, whenever I gave my consent, they would announce that I was going to be able to keep them this time, to my great relief. but in my embarrassment and humiliation, I had to agree to let them do this to me again. Over time, I began to look forward to the next occasion when the guy would ask, “Are you ready to be castrated.”
As the years wore on, this fantasy became worn out and I went on to dreaming up various other ways to get off while fantasizing about having them cut off. In reality, I don’t really want to lose them, but in fantasy, I can’t seem to cum at all without thinking that once I’m finished with my “last cum” off the gonads go! I can’t remember a time when I climaxed without dreaming that “this was it,” and I would lose them. Even the words “castration” and “cut off” are arousing to me. I’m a straight guy but I can’t get this out of my mind! The finality of giving them up following my last climax is powerfully stimulating and captivating.
I have dreamed up some hot fantasies over the years for how I’d like to be castrated. In one hot scene, I imagine that I’m standing in a long line of naked guys each awaiting their turn under the knife. We have all been sentenced to mass castration. Prior to the knife line, we are all lightly sedated. Our pubic hair is shaved and we have been administered enemas because the cutters don’t want us crapping on them when our balls are cut off, on the premise that when the body experiences severe trauma, it “blows its ballast” so to speak. We are allowed enough time to jerk off one last time. Some of the guys decline out of fear. Others are rock hard. I choose to do myself one last time because I realize that this cum must be memorable because it’s my last. Seeing the other guys in there doing themselves is a turn on for me like I can’t describe. Once we shoot, we’re banded and given numbers and pointed to the line. When it’s my turn under the knife, I’m hoisted onto a stainless steel table by naked eunuchs wielding knives. As I’m prepped, I look down into a large bucket where the balls of the castrated guys drop when they are nutted. To my horror, I see a couple of cocks in there as well. We’re all deballed without drugs or anesthesia–just the mild sedative. When the swift procedure is complete, we’re wheeled into a recovery room where we begin to contemplate our lives a eunuchs. Before long, I am assigned to do the castrations and I tell the soon-to-be eunuchs to enjoy their balls one last time because they must bask in the afterglow of their last orgasm for the rest of their lives!
In another hot fantasy, I imagine that I’m going to be cut on a stage during a public castration show. The naked audience is made up of both men and women who have paid a premium price for admission. When my balls are chopped off the audience “gets off.” I’m not forced to giving them up-I do it willingly. And the humiliation I endure prior to the emasculation is part of the thrill. The cutter has me on a table with my crotch facing the audience. My pubic hair is shaved and my ball bag banded. The cutter asks me how I want my last cum. I tell him (sometimes it’s a her) that I want to be jerked off but with a finger inserted into my anus stimulating my prostate. Sometimes in the fantasy I get off immediately and I’m castrated as quickly. Other times I’m allowed enduring penal and anal pleasure as I enjoy my last orgasm. A man is never so naked as when his legs are spread before others, his nut sack is banded with a sharp knife at the ready, and his anus is exposed for everyone to see. Comments from the audience about my nakedness and pending castration heighten the experience for me and I shoot my cum all over my belly. It is then that the knife begins to slowly saw through my scrotum and my ball bag drops into a bowl. My severed gonads are shown to an audience shrieking in delight, and as I gaze at them held up in the cutter’s hands, I spurt one last drop of cum out the tip of my penis!
I have fantasized about involuntary castration, mass castration, mutual castration with another guy where we consent to take each other’s balls in a “one last time” agreed upon nutting, and losing my balls in a bet to a street gang armed with switch blades. The only request I ever have in each fantasy prior to castration is to cum one last time. In my fantasies, sometimes the cutter allows me to; sometimes they don’t. Premature castration prior to climax is sometimes as thrilling because I’m left forever with the frustration of desiring the orgasm I’ll never have. One day at work we made a customer mad because we didn’t get his order right and he threatened to cut my balls off. I can’t describe the thrill that threat gave me!
I spent many years worrying about what this castration obsession meant until I found the EA. There I read with fascination the stories and posts about others’ desires about castration and I was able to now put my obsession in a more balanced perspective. Reading about guys who went “all the way” powerfully aroused me! I mean, guys who had the balls to lose their balls were to be admired.
Once I got married, it was a few years before I could fully express to my wife how my castration fantasy helped arouse me and get me off, but I finally was able to bring her up to speed.
She acted horrified at first, but then got right into the castration play after awhile. Most of the time I initiate the castration talk with such questions as, “Is this the night it’s going to happen?” On other delightful occasions, she initiates the fantasy to my great arousal. Once when my balls were banded and she was being really frisky and vicious with them, she announced, “I could cut your testicles off right now!” Flipping the banded ball bag up and down, she observed, “They would be easy to cut off at this point.” I begged her to let me cum one last time before she sliced them off and she fiendishly said, “Maybe not!” The powerful thought that I wouldn’t be allowed to cum my last orgasm forced me to shoot my load in a stream that even amazed her! I have asked her to hold a knife to my tightly banded nut sack and she complies. Other times, she will get the knife and tease me with losing my balls. She started making a sawing motion with the knife while I jerked off in front of her. The dangerous thrill of castration play excites us both.
Once I was on all fours with my butt facing her. She was tugging at my nut sack stretching it as far as she could. It felt as though they would come right off in her hand and I told her so. She said, “That’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to pull them off.” I asked her what she would do with them if she accidentally harvested them like that. She answered, “First of all, it wouldn’t be an accident, and once they came off in my hand, I would slide one into your anus and the other one up mine. Then we’d squeeze them ’til you came one last time.” When she said that, I shot my load all over the bed it was so hot! During these play times, I have begged her to pull them off and stuff them up my butt. She asked how we would do it, and as she pulled, I told her she should take the knife, slice open my scrotum, dangle my nuts on the sperm cords for a few seconds and then slip them into my anus. Having to give her instructions as to my castration is powerfully exciting!
I confessed to her that I have another fantasy that she’s my lover. We have hot sex and she informs me that all her previous underperforming lovers have been castrated and she keeps their severed balls in a jar by the bed. Sure enough, I look over at the nightstand and there are masculine orbs from anonymous lovers floating in the jar! She informs me that if I’m in anyway deficient in satisfying her, my balls will join the others in that jar! So I do my best to satisfy her in every way imaginable just to keep my balls for the next time. But after awhile, I begin to imagine that my balls are in that jar floating along with the others and it turns me on! When I share this with her, she says, “Well that’s a good thing, because tonight you’re going to be deballed.” When the moment comes, her eunuch lovers are the ones who do the nutting and cutting and she fiendishly adds my testicles to her collection. During this fantasy, I am horribly amazed at how quickly I am made a eunuch! My balls don’t even resist being severed!
As the fantasy goes, I’m involved in nutting her future lovers and wield the knife as their underperforming balls are added to her collection. When I at first shared this fantasy with her, she didn’t seem interested, but over time she added to it by saying that her former nutted lovers were all gathered around the bed watching while we made love and were naked but not allowed to touch themselves. They were all awaiting her word on whether I would join them in their eunuch state, and whether my testicles would be added to her collection.
I once detected a lump in one of my testicles and went to the doctor for an examination. The diagnosis was that the lump was not cancer, but a rather common affliction guys get. Until we found out his diagnosis though, we had some rip-roaring good sex because my wife wanted to make it memorable for me if I was really going to lose my balls to cancer. What a thrill that was!
Once when I was tongue-loving her clit, I told her the taste of it was so sweet and enjoyable I was going to bite it off and swallow it. She was sucking and biting my balls at the time, and said in response, “Then I’m going to bite your balls off, chew them up and swallow them!” I said, “Fair trade,” and we brought ourselves to a tongue-licking orgasm that was so powerful and satisfying, we did it over and over again after that. She loves it when I’m tongue-loving her and announce, “Enjoy your clit while you still have it because this time I’m going to claim it!”
She once announced to me that my balls are already hers and that she is just temporarily allowing them to hang in my sack until she decides the best way to relieve me of them. That sort of talk sends me every time.
Recently, I came home to find my wife highly excited. She had received a recently-ordered sex toy in the mail that day. We went into the bedroom with it. She was massaging my lower body and nut sack with massage oil and pulling my ball bag as far as it would go, loosening my scrotum. Then she banded me tightly and pulled out her toy. It resembled a miniature guillotine. I asked her what it was and she said it was “a ballotine.” When I asked her what it was for, she said impishly, “It’s to cut your balls off whenever I want to.”
I fell in love with the device immediately. When it was time for me to cum, she pulled my banded ball bag into a slot on the ballotine and clamped it shut. “When I release this lever, the blade will drop and chop off your testicles if I so desire. You have to let me know when you’re about to cum so that I time it just right. I don’t want to castrate you without allowing you to shoot one last load.”
The sound of these instructions sent me over the top and I exploded with a sperm release that was so powerful in its finality that I didn’t care if I lost my balls this way! As I squirted my last drop of cum, she released the lever and the blade dropped to my satisfied horror. Instead of castrating me though, the blade stopped. She released the clamp and my very grateful (but empty balls) slid out of the slot. “You get to keep them this time,” she said happily.
She showed me the various applications and adjustments of the ballotine. If swiveled horizontally, it will clamp her lovely sweet clit in the slot, and I tease her that she is going to give it up to the blade and to me. This sends her for some reason. She has even asked me to threaten to clip her clit just prior to her orgasm so that she furiously attempts to pursue the fleeing orgasm she’ll never have! IF she is slow in gearing up, this threat always makes her orgasm is a howling, full-throated climax. Needless to say, that ballotine has given us some powerful play time.
She told me the ballotine has a setting big enough for a penis if we ever decided to do some penectomy play. She demonstrated it with a hot dog. It cut the wiener off in a nanosecond to my lustful amazement. I had never fantasized about cutting my penis off before that, but now I do.
Recently, though, we had an accident that resulted in my fantasy becoming reality. My balls were clamped into that ballotine and we were at the height of arousal, sex play and castration teasing. I was jerking off my hard penis and she was saying, “Let me know when it’s time for you to cum because tonight I’m going to cut your balls off and start a nut collection.” When I felt myself about to explode, I told her, “I’m going to cum!” Just then, I heard the lever activated and the blade dropped. But to my horror and amazement, it didn’t stop at the safety guard: it dropped all the way down and cut my balls clean off!
My wife was shocked and startled that something had gone wrong and kept exclaiming, “I cut them off! I cut them off!”
I had to gently persuade her to calm down and get some first aid supplies now! We patched me up and I began to heal. As the days progressed, I really did start contemplating my life as a eunuch.
My wife told me if I wanted to take her clit in exchange for my balls I could. But I told her that I wasn’t interested in revenge. She had given my what I had dreamed about for years. Now I keep her satisfied with my ever-able tongue. Her lovely clit is just as sweet and tasty as ever and we’ve had some gloriously enriching times since my focus and attention is on her now instead of my own orgasm.
She has offered to cut my penis off with the ballotine, and I haven’t said no, but if and when it happens, I want it to be during a hot sex ritual like when my balls were cut off. Without my testicles pumping sex juice and testosterone into my system, my penis is of little use. Maybe someday we will.