Having a castration fetish is a mixed blessing. It provides intense pleasure as well as great frustration since it can never be really experienced. On balance it’s really an affliction.
It’s not my only fetish. It comprises the strongest member of a small constellation of female domination fetishes.
I trace my own development of this fetish from an early age. I’d like to share the milestones of this with the readers of this blog.
Although I didn’t explicitly realize I had this fetish until I was 12 years old there were some significant milestones prior to this.
Here is the first milestone.
I suffered a severe trauma to my right hip and leg when I was 2 and a half years old and had to spend months in traction in a pediatric ward. Fortunately, I lived near a superlative hospital and they were able to help me recover so that I was only left with a pronounced limp and poor circulation in the affected leg.
Suffering a childhood trauma is a common early experience for people with this fetish. I learned this from a survey that some psychologists did a few years ago of the people that frequent the Eunuch Archive site. It’s common but not universal.
Psychologically, the after effects were more severe. It left me feeling emotionally cold and cut off from others. I grew to be a timid, passive person.
Sexually, I’m sure the inactivity and boredom of being in traction caused my sexual feelings to grow into a larger focus and component of my life than it would have otherwise.
It is also obvious that my medical fetish and my fetish for women (i.e., nurses) doing things to me grew out of this formative experience.
Bottom line is, this experience really side-lined me for life.