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“Melaney’s Surprise” By Kortpeel

I remember it all started on Melaney’s 28th birthday. In the morning I gave her her present, a sapphire ring. In the afternoon we took our two children to the zoo which, at 6 and 4 they loved, and in the evening we took ourselves to the theatre to see a musical. That is a rare event in our lives and we both thoroughly enjoyed the show.

“Thank you for a lovely birthday,” she said as we were going to bed. She kissed me lovingly. “And I got a little present for you.”

She handed me a small neatly wrapped package. “It’s only a nonsense present but I hope you like it.”

There was that lovely mischievous smile on her face. Melaney has an impish sense of humour and can be wickedly manipulative at times. She loves to surprise me and jolt me out of what she calls my ‘dull masculine complacency.’

I knew I was lucky to have her for my wife. She is attractive with a still slender figure, shortish auburn hair and brown eyes. We met at college where she needed extra coaching at math which she was failing. I helped her pass the course. The teacher pupil relationship with which we started off has long gone and now we just love and respect each other. Melaney confessed years later that she decided to marry me when I was earnestly explaining statistical deviations to her. Anyone who could be that serious about deviations had to be a good choice for a life partner. I’ve never seen the logic of that but I’m glad that she still does.

I opened the present as Melaney watched with a naughty smile. It was a pair of lady’s panties. I must have looked as surprised and bemused as Melaney had wished. “Try them on and I’ll explain.”

They were a white satin full brief with lace trim. They fitted and had enough control to restrain partially the bulge that I was making in them.

Melaney patted the bulge. “Hmm I see we like our little present then.”

“Thank you.” I kissed her.

“Remember how you wanted to try on my panties when we were first married?”

“Yes and you got all upset about it. You made me feel like some kind of pervert.”

“Well, so you are. But I’ve learnt something since then so now you are allowed to have a pair for yourself. Are they comfortable and do they fit ok?”

“Yeah they’re fine.”

“Take ’em off now. You can wear them tomorrow when you come shopping with me.”

That night we had great sex. Melaney put it down to panty inspiration. “See, told you you were a pervert. Wearing panties turns you on.”

What could I say? She was right.

I wasn’t all that keen on going shopping and I usually try to get out of it. However Melaney told me to put on the panties and stop arguing. We were definitely going shopping.

Once I was dressed she looked thoughtful and said that there was still something bothering her about me in panties. Something not quite right about it.

She referred to it several times during the course of the morning. She kept asking me how my panties were as we went round the aisles of the supermarket. I got several amused, somewhat knowing looks from other shoppers who overheard her.

In the coffee shop, over a coffee to celebrate the completion of the shopping she said, rather too loudly, “I know what it is that’s bothering me about you wearing panties.”

“What ?” I whispered.

“Don’t worry. We can sort it out when we get home.”

And that’s all she would say, all the way back. Except that when we got home I was to do as she said.

What she said was for me to unpack the shopping and put it away in the fridge, freezer or wherever it had to go.

Melaney went upstairs to do something. “When you’ve finished come

up to the bathroom,” she called.

A few minutes later I presented myself in the bathroom.

“Strip off.”

Again I got a hard on. Having your wife order you to strip off in the middle of the day is unorthodox enough to be a turn on. Then she proceeded to give me a cock and ball shave. It was a truly delightful experience and when she warned me not to ejaculate “or else” it took more self control to obey than I’d have thought possible. A couple of times I asked her to stop for a while.

That done, she carefully dried me off and let me into the bedroom. There was a kind of pleasant fresh draught around my newly shaved balls.

The next step was a new experience for me. Melaney carefully and very gently pushed my balls up into my groin. Then she folded and tucked the now empty scrotum also up into my groin and pulled the skin at the sides of the scrotum together and stuck them with sticking plaster so that my balls couldn’t come down again.

Obviously the point of the shave was so that the plaster could stick to the hairless skin.

“Does that hurt?”

“No.”

“Is it comfortable?”

“Yes. It feels funny though. What’s the idea of all this?”

“It’s not right for a man to wear panties. They’re not meant to have a prick and balls dangling inside them.”

“So how does this make it right?”

“Now that you don’t have any balls hanging down I’ve turned you into an honorary eunuch and it’s ok for a eunuch to wear panties.”

Being called an honorary eunuch in such a simple matter-of-fact way was one hell of a turn on and it took some careful tucking in to get my panties back on.

“One of the traditional roles of a eunuch is as a woman’s intimate personal servant,” Melaney told me over lunch. “Would you like to try that, just for fun?”

“Ok.”

She got me to run a bath, get the temperature right and put in the bath oil. Then I had to undress and bath her. Part of the fun was that I had to conduct myself with due deference to her and not to display any sexual desire whatsoever. That in itself was a turn on but I played the role and it was only that evening when I was allowed to revert to normal and let my balls hang down again. Of course we had great sex that night.

It was a fortnight later before we had another session. In bed that morning Melaney said that as the children were away with friends this would be a good day to continue my eunuch training. Would I like that?

“Yes.”

“Good. Have your shower and I’ll take off your balls.”

She meant of course that she would put them up with sticking plaster but there was something rather exciting about the way she said it. And I enjoyed her ordering me to put on my panties afterwards.

The training consisted of bathing and then massage with body lotion culminating in Madame’s erotic satisfaction with fingers and tongue. All the time I had to appear to be not the least bit sexually stimulated as well as suitably deferent to her. Of course we had great sex afterwards.

Later she asked me how far I would like to go with my eunuch training.

“How do you mean?” I replied.

“Well, there are a load of things that women do to keep themselves up together. There’s hair and make-up, facials, manicures and pedicures. Would you really want to get into all that?”

“Why not? I’d probably be one of the few straight guys in the whole world that actually knows about it. Don’t you want me to know about it?”

“No. I didn’t want to impose it on you. If you’re happy to learn I’m more than happy to teach you.”

And so she did. Over the next few months we had our honorary eunuch sessions and not only did I learn all about female body maintenance I actually got rather good at it. The most extreme thing was when Melaney got me to insert a tampon for her. I didn’t mind at all but she decided she’d just as soon do that for herself. We got into clothes too and Melaney came to rely on my judgement as to what she should buy and wear.

It was interesting how, knowing I was aware of all these thing, Melaney felt able to confide in me a lot of intimate details that she never used to. I found that I liked that and encouraged it. I made a point of getting her to tell me of her intimate thoughts and feelings and moods. It certainly brought us closer. She would even tell me of other guys we saw that she fancied and what it was about them that she liked. This one had lovely blue eyes, another a nice smile. Cute buns were her favorite thing on a man. Sometimes after talking to a really cute guy she would tell me that her vagina had lubricated and she was visualizing having sex with him. Not that you’d have known from looking at her: all serious minded and business like. Melaney said most women were like that but they usually would never tell any other guy. “As an honorary eunuch you have privileged information,” she told me.

Melaney enjoyed the intimacy just as much as the pampering she was getting. On one occasion, I was waxing her legs at the time, she remarked that she liked me in my eunuch mode so much that she wouldn’t mind if it were permanent.

“In fact, I think it would be rather nice if you were a real eunuch.”

“No. I prefer to be a just pretend eunuch.”

She gave me that impish, mischievous teasing smile of hers. “I was reading somewhere that testosterone is bad for you. It’s a ruthless trick that nature has played on men to perpetuate the species.”

“I can forgive nature for that.”

“Well, with our two kids we’ve done our perpetuating now. You don’t need your balls any more.”

I do. I need them to keep up my sex drive. I enjoy my ejaculations. They’re part of the pleasure of life.”

“This article I was reading. It said that testosterone was actually as harmful to men as any other steroid. It leads to heart disease, is bad for your arteries and causes needless aggression.”

“I’m not aggressive.”

“Ever heard of road rage? Just listen to your language when you’re driving in traffic. That’s testosterone getting you all upset like that. It’s actually a harmful drug that affects your mind and distorts your judgement. You’re better off without it.”

Melaney was actually making quite a case, I thought. She pointed out that in the days of hunter gatherers maybe stupid mindless aggression had a place. “But,” she continued “surely living in our peaceful modern suburbs mindless aggression is the last thing we need. What is really needed is cool, calm, rational reasoned thought and logic. And that’s exactly how men’s minds are when they not polluted with unnecessary steroids,”

After I’d finished her waxing Melaney got dressed. At the end of our session she usually gave me a wank as a reward for services rendered. I got on the table, kneeling doggy style and she took off the plaster sticking up my balls. “These are the problem,” she said, gently massaging them in their sac as they took up their normal position once more. Without these you wouldn’t need to humiliate yourself by wanting to be jerked off.”

She rubbed lotion onto my prick and gave it a few slow strokes to establish a good erection. “What’s humiliating about it? I’m enjoying it.”

“Exactly. ” She continued to work my prick slowly, her other hand was massaging my balls. I was in ecstasy. “They’ll come out so easily. Why don’t you let me make an appointment with a person who does this sort of thing?”

At that point I’d have agreed to anything. “Ok” I gasped and ejaculated.

It was a few days later, Melaney asked me to get Tuesday afternoon off for an appointment with Dr. Grey.

“Who’s Dr. Grey and why do I need an appointment?”

“You know, what we were talking about the other day?”

“Having my balls out?”

“Yes.”

“God, Mel, that was just playing. You’re not really serious?”

“It would only be a counselling session so that we know what it’s all about.”

“Even so, this is getting a bit serious.”

“Not really.” Melaney said. “We’ve played with the idea so much, it wouldn’t hurt to find out more about it. It doesn’t commit you to anything.” Then Melaney gave me that impish smile of hers. “It might even be fun.”

To make it fun Melaney made me wear panties for the appointment and she taped up my balls.

Dr. Grey turned out to be a pleasant, well groomed woman in her thirties, about my own age in fact. She had short dark hair, was about 5’6″ and just a shade of the plump side. She made us welcome, put us at ease and explained that this would be a preliminary counselling session. I got the impression she was extremely serious minded regarding the welfare of her patients and was conscientious in her work. It turned out she was head of surgery at the nearby hospital and also ran a small private practice from her home. She was geared to perform minor procedures here.

The first thing she did was a minor physical. She took some blood and urine samples, listened to my heart and chest and took my blood pressure. After that we sat down for the counselling session.

Melaney did the talking. In reply to Dr. Grey’s question on why we were considering castration, Melaney explained about our honorary eunuch game, in total embarrassing detail I might add. Dr. Grey seemed to take it very seriously as though it was all absolutely normal. She just listened and nodded for Melaney to continue. Then it was my turn.

“So Mike, this started with you wanting to try on some ladies’ panties?”

“Yes.”

“And you found it was erotic for you to wear panties?”

“Yes.”

“And you rather enjoy Melaney turning you into an honorary eunuch?”

I nodded, very sheepishly.

“Now Mike, being a personal attendant to Melaney, running her bath, giving her massages and so on; you enjoy that?”

“Yes. Also, I like the way Melaney feels able to confide her thoughts and feelings to me. I think that makes us closer.”

“What kind of thing?”

“Very intimate things. I’m sure we are closer like that than many couples.”

“Very good. That sort of closeness is a very good sign. Have you considered what the effects of castration would be?”

I had to admit I hadn’t. Melaney had though. She understood that it would reduce my libido over a period and make me a calmer, more serene person who was at peace with himself but that it wouldn’t affect my brain or personality significantly beyond that. She knew that it would be good for my heart and circulation over a long period and that it reduced the likelihood of cancer.

I was rather surprised that Melaney knew so much about it. Obviously she had done some research and with that knowledge she was still keen on the idea.

Even Dr. Grey seemed surprised at Melaney’s knowledge. “Very good. Actually Melaney, the benefits regarding cancer and the vascular system are very real indeed. In my work at the hospital I come across that every day and I’ve come to the conclusion that castration ought to be a routine, normal pre-emptive health measure for men. It’s unusual for people to even be aware of it at your age though.”

“We’ve done some reading,” Melaney said, meaning that she had.

“Would you be able to cope with Mike’s loss of libido?”

Melaney paused to frame her answer. “Mike’s very good with his hands. Orgasm that way is actually more important for me than, er, the other way.”

“You prefer clitoral rather than vaginal orgasm?” Dr. Grey was totally at home in the more intimate aspects of sexual discussion.

“Yes,” this time it was Melaney who looked a shade embarrassed.

“And you’ve trained Mike in that side of things?”

“Yes. That’s part of our honorary eunuch game.” Melaney actually looked rather pleased. “He is very good at it.”

“Mike how do you feel at the prospect of loss of libido?”

“Concerned.” I told her. “I enjoy my ejaculations.”

She nodded. Presumably it was the answer she expected. “How often do you ejaculate?”

“Oh, about three or four times a week.”

“Would that include masturbation in private?”

“No.”

“Come on now Mike. Don’t tell me you’re the one guy in the world who doesn’t jerk off now and again.”

“Sometimes.” I was mortified to find myself blushing. Both Melaney and Dr. Grey were looking amused at this.

“So perhaps ten to fifteen times a week would be nearer the mark?”

I nodded.

“There doesn’t have to be a loss of libido nor of frequency of ejaculation. These days you can get stick on testosterone patches which work well. ” Dr. Grey produced a small package from the table by her side. “These are the answer. She showed me a circular transparent patch about one and a half inches in diameter. “They supply testosterone through the skin. Stick it on anywhere and your libido and sexual function are fully restored in about three hours.”

“What it is Mike, castration will reduce your blood testosterone level and that will give you an immediate benefit to your cardiovascular system.” At that point there was a knock on the door. She answered it and came back with the results of my tests which she studied for a few moments.

She looked at me “And right now your cardiovascular system could do with some help. Your blood pressure is too high for a man of your age. Your cholesterol level is up Basically you’re a candidate for a heart attack in twenty years time.”

“You, Mike, are exactly the sort of patient who would benefit from a pre-emptive precautionary castration.”

“It wouldn’t be the end of your sex life but I would recommend that at this stage you only use the patches twice a week and let your blood testosterone levels run down in between.”

“I do have a talk that I give some patients on the evils of testosterone. It’s like a drug addiction except that for men it’s a built in drug. Like all drugs it’s a killer, even if it does kill slowly but it’s more of a killer than smoking. The highs are ejaculations, a few seconds of orgasm. Admittedly that’s a pleasant few seconds but not worth shortening your life for, surely?”

“No.” Melaney answered for me while I was still considering. “Doctor, the actual procedure. Is that anything to be frightened of?”

“No. That’s the least of it. Would you like to see ?”

Again Melaney answered for both of us. At this stage I was slightly bemused by it all and wasn’t really thinking straight. Dr. Grey led us to the small private operating theatre. It all looked spotlessly clean and ultra hygienic but none of it meant much to me, except that it was very professional. “The procedure is done under a local anesthetic and I usually have a very experienced theatre sister present as well.”

“Post operative recovery is a day’s rest and it takes about two weeks before the stitches come out. There is no pain but it might be a little sore for a day or so.”

“There are some options: we can remove the scrotum altogether as it has no purpose left for it. We can insert prosthetic testicles so that it looks normal or we can just leave the scrotum. If its left it goes up into a tight little bundle behind the penis and looks awful.”

“Best to remove it altogether,” Melaney said.

I was quite happy to get out of that theatre and couldn’t wait to get away. Melaney had a lot more questions which were delaying us. Dr. Grey lent her a video of the procedure which she said was highly confidential and not to let anyone else see it.

Her parting words were to Melaney. “Don’t rush him on this or you’ll scare him. Remember the last time Mike made a decision as big as this one it was to get married to you.”

We saved the video until the weekend when we had the house to ourselves. Melaney insisted on me being in honorary eunuch mode to watch it. I was wearing only panties and sticking plaster. The video consisted of four separate cases of castration. It gave the procedure in detail and in each case the guy had an erection. The first three times the guy’s wife jerked him off and the doctor cut the testicular cords just as he came. It was a nice touch.

The fourth procedure was transgender surgery and it really was a case of everything you wanted to know but were too shy to ask. Interesting as it was, it was serious surgery with long recovery times and a lot of post operative care.

“Interesting,” Melaney said. “Instead of removing your scrotum would you like it made into a vagina?”

“Hell no.” The very idea was chilling.

That video was also the best turn on ever and I didn’t bother to untape my balls when I fucked Melaney. She was unusually ready as well. I guess that video had got to her too.

Over the next few weeks we watched that video a lot and it got to us each time. I found I even came to imagine it happening to me and in some strange way I was beginning to like the idea. It was so turning me on that ironically enough, Mel and I were having more sex than ever. One evening when we were watching the video yet again Melaney started undressing me and when I was nude she sat up against me and rubbed me with her hands, finally she had my prick in her one hand and balls in the other. “Let’s do it for real,” she whispered in my ear. “Let’s take them out. You know you’ll love it.”

“Ok.”

Melaney prepped me at home before the appointment. She shaved my torso, worked down to the pubic triangle and ended by touching up the shave on my cock and balls. It was incredibly erotic and I wanted to come there and then but she held me back. She did put me into my honorary eunuch mode and gave me a new, tight control, girdle to wear which she’d bought for the occasion.

“I’m so glad you decided to go for the procedure,” Dr. Grey said as she led us into the prepping room. The prepping room was a kind of antechamber to Dr. Grey’s private operating theatre. “And I’m sure you’ll rather enjoy it. Most of my patients seem to. Now please undress down to your underpants and Sister will do some preliminary checks on you. “

It was very warm there and actually quite pleasant to take off the clothes, I noticed that the nursing sister had very little on underneath her white coat. She looked to be in her late twenties, was slim, tallish and pretty with hazel eyes and short auburn hair under her nurses cap. It seemed to me that she and Melaney actually knew each other. There was a rapport between them. Together they undressed me and both totally ignored my embarrassment at my being in the skin-tone satin girdle. Sister did blood pressures, read my temperature, listened to my heart and took some blood samples.

She did something with the blood samples and decided it was all systems go. “Now take off your girdle please.”

As I stood there in total embarrassment and wondering how I could hide my erection Melaney whipped down the girdle and my prick popped up. I stepped out of the girdle.

“That’s good,” the sister said to Melaney regarding my shaven state. “I see he’s very well prepped.” She ran her fingers lightly over the area concerned to test the smoothness of the skin.

“Thank you.” Melaney accepted the compliment.

“The testicles are still there?” The nurse was considering the sticking plaster holding my balls up.

“Yes. It’s a little game we play. When he’s taped up like that he’s an honorary eunuch and is allowed to wear panties. Which he enjoys,” Melaney added.

“That’s nice,” the sister said as she expertly ripped off the plaster. “He’ll be allowed to wear panties all the time after this.” As my balls came down out of my groin the sister gently but expertly took my scrotum and pulled on it. “We need them to hang nice and low,” she explained to Melaney. “It makes the procedure so much easier. That’s actually why it’s so warm in here.”

“It is very warm.” Melaney was still dressed in her outdoor clothes and I knew she would be feeling uncomfortable.

“It is perfectly in order for you to undress too, if you’d like to. Dr. Grey prefers to work nude so perhaps it would be better.” The nurse turned to me. “Meanwhile let’s get you on the operating table.” She led me into the theater which had been set up for the procedure. It was basically a gynecological table and the nurse got me to put my feet in the stirrups. I felt extremely vulnerable.

Melaney came into theatre wearing just her panties. “This feels rather more comfortable.”

“Now do we leave the empty scrotum or remove it?” the sister asked me.

“Leave it.”

“Remove it,” Melaney told the sister.

“It comes off,” the Sister told me.

Dr. Grey came in still wearing the dark grey business suit she’d had on when we arrived. She noted that I was in position, nodded approval and took a coat hanger off the wall. “There’s a matter of etiquette here Mike. It’s ok for a lady to be nude in front of a eunuch but not a man with testicles. Therefore I ask your permission to work nude.”

I was on the table with my feet in the stirrups and my erect prick pointing more or less at my face. “Of course.”

Dr. Grey proceeded to strip in front of me while sister busied herself around me. By the time Dr. Grey had finished undressing I realised I was strapped in so tightly that I couldn’t move at all: not even twitch.

“That’s just a safety precaution,” Dr. Grey explained as she put on her surgical cap and mask. ” Because you are awake and fully conscious during the procedure I’m not giving you a muscle relaxant. So we’ve strapped you in to make sure you don’t move at a delicate time.”

I’d never felt so helpless in my life. At the same time I was enjoying the sight of Dr. Grey’s large bosom and generous pubic hair, Melaney in her panties and, to cap it all, sister took off her white coat and was completely nude. She had a delightful slim figure, small pert breasts and she’d shaved off all her pubic hair. The sight of the cute little vaginal slit beneath her smooth flat stomach disappearing between her legs did nothing to relieve the massive erection I had.

Sister helped Melaney into a surgical cap and mask and then put her own on. Then Sister and Dr. Grey scrubbed.

“Now let us turn our attention to removing our patient’s testicles.” Dr. Grey was filling a syringe as she spoke. “Melaney, you want the scrotum removed too?”

“Yes please.”

“Why can’t I keep it?” I said to Melaney,

“Because you won’t need it any more after this and it will look scruffy.”

“Who’s going to see it?”

“Me for a start and if I show you off to my friends I want you to look nice.”

“Your friends?”

“Of course, darling. They’re all very interested in this. Most of them are thinking of getting their husbands done too. They’ll all want to see the result.”

Dr. Grey injected anesthetic at strategic points around the area to be worked on.

“So far so good,” she said when she’d finished. “This anesthetic is very local, Mike and very, very effective. You won’t feel any pain whatsoever. Now the next step is to mark where we’re going to cut.”

Nurse handed her a marker and she drew a line around the root of the scrotum. She said to Melaney “We’ll make cuts here and here. Then when it’s stitched up it will look as though there never had been a scrotum at all. It will just be clean smooth skin behind the penis.”

“Yes. That’s just how I want it,” Melaney said.

Sister held my penis to stop it twitching and Dr. Grey expertly made the incisions. She was right about the anesthetic. There was no pain. I felt a sort of butterfly feeling in my stomach though.

My scrotum came right off and I could feel my testicles dangling in the air. Dr. Grey got busy again and tied off the cords holding my balls. As she did so, Sister was gently stroking my prick. It was lovely. Melaney was fascinated by the procedure. I could see a wetness around the crutch of her panties. She didn’t seem to mind at all what Sister was doing with my prick.

Dr. Grey finished the tying off and attached a scissor like device on each cord between the testicles and the tie-off.

Sister got faster with the stroking off my prick. Her grip tightened and she was sliding the skin up and down. I held back for as long as I could in an attempt to prolong the delightful sensations but had to let go in the most glorious burst of ejaculation I’d ever had. At some point during those ecstatic squirts I felt a slight, rather pleasant stabbing sensation as Dr. Grey severed the cords and my balls were gone.

Totally spent from the ejaculation I just lay back, relaxed and let the professionals get on with it. Sister cleaned up my come, Dr. Grey sewed me up where my scrotum had been and Melaney was looking at my balls in the surgical dish, licking her lips and rubbing her crotch. I dozed off.


We’d both expected my castration to be a life changing experience. It was but not quite in the way we’d expected. For one thing, seeing my balls being lopped off had turned Melaney on no end. She moistened up every time she thought about it which was often.

As a result she was very emphatic about me wearing testosterone patches and she even got a test kit to measure testosterone levels in the blood. For a long while she had me running on maximum which was rather more than my when my own balls were still there.

The second effect was that Melaney was very conscious of my eunuch status and was no longer jealous or possessive of her husband as wives so often are. In fact she did show me off to her friends and we had several delightful evenings of me in the nude and her various friends examining the site of the surgery.

I rather enjoyed the humiliation of being shown off like this and had a massive erection to prove it. On such occasions Melaney would wear her new ‘gold’ ear rings which contained what used to be my balls that had been dried, shrunk and gilded. “Gilding the geldings,” was Melaney’s little joke on the subject.

Melaney pointed out that they didn’t have to be shy of a eunuch and they were quite happy to strip for a body massage by me, with all the extras they could desire. They got the idea that having sex with a eunuch didn’t count as infidelity, and for a long while I was as randy and rampant as a satyr with them.

If you think that it’s odd behavior for a wife to charge her husband up with the sex drive of a sixteen year old and then cordially invite him to service all her friends and then some I can only agree with you. It was probably some psychological thing. Her husband having no balls was not a proper man and therefore he couldn’t be sexually unfaithful. Also, the lack of balls meant that I was so unlikely to leave her she had nothing to worry about as far as her marriage was concerned. And of course she just enjoyed all that sex and talking about it with her friends.

For over a year I had the sort of sex life that every teen age boy fantasies about. Then one day I realized I was fed up with all that screwing and keeping all those women happy. I was quite shocked at myself but I had to admit I was sated.

I let the testosterone level run down and actually enjoyed the peace of mind and tranquility that came with a low testosterone level. I had more energy for other things and found that my mental concentration improved considerably. I used that ability to wade through wads of stock market data to pick companies whose stock price was likely to improve. I’d tried to do that in the past but it had always been dull and boring and I never got anywhere. Now I was getting wealthy.

I found that I preferred life with low testosterone levels and I knew it was better for my health. From time to time I would put on the patches to give Melaney a romantic evening but when she tactfully suggested an evening out with a friend my main feeling was relief that some guy was taking care of her sexual needs and letting me off the hook.

Life as a eunuch is exactly what you make it. I personally have no regrets and there are some good advantages. The one major loss is I can no longer get a woman pregnant but right now, helping our two children through college, I know that is no disadvantage to me whatsoever.

So if any of you out there are contemplating castration, Melaney and I can thoroughly recommend it.

Incidentally, I see that some of Melaney’s friends are now sporting those gold ear rings. I think it’s catching on.

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