Castration is Love

Here’s another milestone in my castration fetish.

When I was 47 I left my career behind me as a hopeless and tragic mistake. This gave me the free time to pursue a couple pet projects, one of which was to write little porn fantasies.

The Eunuch Archive

This is a wonderful resource. It’s composed of two parts, a huge repository of thousands of user-submitted castration fantasy stories and a user forum.

Anyone can submit a story but sometimes stories are rejected if there are too many spelling, grammatical or formatting errors. The archive has a limited staff of volunteers that work hard to ensure that the stories are readable.

Even with surface errors corrected the quality of the writing in the stories tends to be pretty poor, but they’re all sincere and heart-felt. And if you have the patience and the stamina you can find some real gems.

I know a little of the Archive’s history but I’ll leave it to more knowledgeable people to document that. One thing I can say is that the founder of the Archive wasn’t a eunuch but since he passed away I believe the main admins have been eunuchs.

SquirmEWorm

I submitted stories sporadically to the Eunuch Archive for 12 years. I used a couple different IDs until I settled on SquirmEWorm. I only produced thirty-two stories in all. But I also wrote seven non-castration stories for the BDSMCafe as well. Pretty meager output really.

I was always frustrated and depressed that there was never any feedback on my stories posted to the forum. But that was pretty typical for femdom stories. Most of the forum discussion was devoted to the gay-themed stories.

Kortpeel

I became aware of this author fairly early on due to the high quality of his writing. But it wasn’t until I was 57 that one of his stories really blew me away, “Neighbourly Act”. It was almost too powerful for me to bear. I was in a precarious state at the time and had been living in a sleazy motel for a few months. I became fixated and frustrated on how silly and frivolous many of Kortpeel’s stories were. I snapped and blew up at Kortpeel and the Eunuch Archive admins. I haven’t really been back since. I was a demented asshole.

I’ve posted nine of Kortpeel’s stories to this WordPress blog. They’re all excellent.

Here’s another milestone in my castration fetish.

This is basically just a chronological list of the high points of my porn-consumption between the ages of 41 and 53.

Titian Beresford

Titian Beresford is god. His novel, “Nina Foxton”, is the best femdom porn novel ever. And it refers to castration in three places.

Here’s a link for the whole thing.

Below are links for excerpts from some other things he wrote. Only the one for “Cinderella” mentions castration:

* The Rubber Sanitarium

* Payday

* Black Velvet Farm

* Cinderella

Cruella Magazine

The first “Cruella” I bought had a super hot castration fantasy in it. I bought a few other magazines from the same publisher but only one other issue (“Riding Cult”) had anything worthwhile. Here are the links:

* Lady Charlotte and the Groom

* Just Dandy’s Just Desserts

Whap! Magazine

Only a few issues of this were published which is a shame because it was so good at doing femdom with a light, teasing touch.

Chris Bellows

Most people in the femdom castration milieu will be familiar with this author. I was so excited when I ordered his first little porn novella, “A Gift From James”, and I initially found it highly arousing. But after reading his subsequent books and after re-reading “Gift” I realized Bellows has very little respect for his readers.

Lady Carole

Her cartoons were the first hand-drawn depictions I had seen of femdom castration. What she lacked in polish she made up for in composition. The first ones I found of hers were super hot. She’s very prolific but most of her drawings only depict torture.

Here’s the link.

Hogg

Samuel R. Delany’s porn novel, “Hogg”, is incredible, a true work of literature. But there’s nothing femdom or castration related in it. And I found a couple of the scenes in it hard to stomach. But it’s been a real inspiration to me to just let go and be myself in my own writings.

Here’s another tawdry milestone in my castration fetish.

Dominant Mystique

I was 37, out of work and the country in the grips of recession which gave me plenty of time to drive into the city to visit adult bookstores.

I picked up a copy of a sleazy newsprint porn mag called “Dominant Mystique”. When I got it home I read the letters section and one of the letters caused me to tear off my pants and jerk off wildly.

It was a short letter supposedly from a dominant lady who was considering castrating her male sex slave. In her letter she asked whether any of the letters about castration were genuine. The editor, Sandy York, replied by saying that on page 32 there was a photo of a castrated man. The small, black and white photo showed a naked seated man from the neck down. His penis was held up out of the way with a belt. His scrotum looked empty. Unfortunately, I no longer possess a scan of the photo.

This is the first time I had ever encountered femdom castration being presented as a real-life thing. I immediately subscribed to the magazine. I was very disappointed in the following months that only one other letter mentioned castration. In retrospect these letters feel phony. To this day I have yet to encounter a credible account of a real femdom castration.

Here is the link for the two letters.

Executive Imports

One advertisement that regularly appeared in “Dominant Mystique” caught my eye. It was for “Executive Imports” and they offered a big selection of erotic stories. I sent away for their catalog. It was a real cheap-ass piece of work, just a multi-page list of titles and summaries typed on an old manual typewriter, reproduced with a copier and stapled together at one corner. The stories themselves were printed in the same way.

I ordered from them a few times. The few castration stories they offered were all too gross and sadistic except one, “Husbands – Wives – Castration”. Since it was the first specifically femdom castration story I’d ever read I initially found it very hot. Unfortunately, it soon lost its ability to arouse due to the clumsy way it was written.

Here’s the summary: a suburban housewife decides to castrate her abusive husband. She shares her success with her female friends and neighbors and they follow her example.

Here’s the link.

Happily, two non-castration femdom stories turned out to provide a ton more jerk off mileage. Here are the links:

* Modeling School Slave

* Male Model

Here’s another milestone in my castration fetish.

This one is about my acquaintance with the amateur porn author and Internet personality, Richard Lovel (a pen name).

I first became aware of Richard Lovel through his writings and only much later learned his online identity. He’s particularly relevant to the castration fetish milieu since he’s the author of the original versions of the famous (within the milieu), “Judy’s Jewels”, and the less famous, “Mrs. Boxworth”.

Letters Magazine

I was 35 and I was reading “Letters” magazine when I noticed two unusually well-written femdom stories, “Spanking Salon” and “Molly Does the Milking”. I was still naïve enough at the time to believe that they described real-life personal experiences. “Spanking Salon” was particularly masterful in it’s light, teasing, suggestive tone. I got a lot of jerk off mileage out of it. No author was given for these stories.

Judy’s Jewels

When I was 43 the Internet was just starting to take off. One day I stumbled onto a listing of erotic stories available on a NJ BBS (Bulletin Board System). One story caught my eye, “Judy’s Jewels”. The summary description said it was a story about how “a farm girl teaches her city-boy cousin about castration”! I hated having to pay the BBS membership fee but I was burning with desire to read this story. When I finally got my hands on it I was not disappointed, it blew my mind. But once again no author was given.

A few years later I discovered that “Judy’s Jewels” was a crudely edited version of the original, “Betting the Ranch”, and that the original version was definitely the superior one.

Here’s the summary: A sly farm girl manipulates her shy city-boy cousin into allowing himself to be strapped into bondage in a bull-milking shed so that she can milk him with the milking machine. She frightens him by offering to use a burdizzo on him and tells him about how she had once castrated one of the ranch’s hired hands for being lewd to her. It’s very suspenseful.

Here’s the link.

The Peter Files

A couple years later I finally discovered the author of these amazing stories. I found Lovel’s “The Peter Files” story collection posted to a USENET newgroup. There were a dozen stories (all good) contained in the collection and these included the stories mentioned above. The Richard Lovel pen name was given so I was finally able to find his website and contact him and tell him how much I loved his stories.

There was only one other story in the collection that was about castration, “The Diary”. This story was later edited and expanded on to create “Mrs. Boxworth”.

I corresponded with Richard Lovel for a while and got to know him a little. He is a very dynamic individual. Writing these fantasies is only a hobby, his real profession is quite different. And his main hobby is exhibitionism. He is quite literally obsessed with it. He spends a lot of time and energy looking for people online that he can jerk off in front of. He prefers to do it in front of women but he will do it with men too. He scrupulously keeps his face and real identity hidden. He has never revealed his real identity to me.

For the past few years he has run the website Onania.org. He also has a Twitter account. He’s since written a few more “Peter Files” stories. I haven’t spoken with him for a quite a while.